Some things have been placed on my heart as of late and I need to get it out. If you are in the performing industry I hope you read this and you find some sort of solace in what I am going to tell you. I hope that we can band together and stop this business from being so gross sometimes.
I am an actress. I have been performing on a stage for nearly 20 years. I have been in over 100 productions and I love my life. I love the things that I have been blessed with and I love the obstacles that have been put in my way because it has taught me how to solve problems. It has taught me to see the way others deal with obstacles and decide for myself what I would do in those situations. I have always lived my life trying to be humble and kind. Sure, I am sassy as hell and my confidence can come off sometimes as though I am conceded. But don't get it twisted. I am truly one of the most humble and nervous people you will ever meet. When you get to know me you learn quickly that every success that comes to me is the largest surprise and graciously accepted blessing there is. WITH ALL OF THAT SAID, I AM NOT PERFECT. NOR TO A CLAIM TO BE THE MOST APPROACHABLE PERSON. The thing that has been on my mind so heavily lately is that this business can be a nasty one. You can be ridiculed for the way you look. For how much you weigh. For how you dress. So many petty things that don't matter at all. Sure these judgements happen in the work place from directors and casting but more times than not these judgements often come from your colleagues. People that you sit next to everyday in the dressing room. People that you smile at onstage. People you get drinks with after a two doe shay. And that is gross and toxic and not okay. We all decided to come into a business that is slightly superficial. We chose this because it's where our passion lies. You have to REALLY love what you do to put up with walking in a room and sometimes within 5 minutes being told that you are just too tall/short/thin/fat/dark/light/butch/feminine for a role. It's hard out here in the entertainment world. Whether you are still in school, working at a theme park, a regional theatre, or broadway. The judgement is always going to be there. So why after knowing good and well that we are walking into a judgement filled room everyday during audition season do we do this to other performers? Why are we tearing each other down? Why are we trying to sabotage each other? I cannot tell you how many situations I have been in where I have experienced nothing short of full-fledged bullying based on nothing substantial. It is painful and it is damaging. When your whole life is your job because you are on a cruise ship or on a tour you CANNOT be so petty. You just can't. I am sure I am guilty of doing this as well and it has become incredibly apparent to me lately that we have to make an effort to end this. I am so tired of mentioning my issues with bullying in the industry and being met with the statement "Well, people in this business are catty." Let's stop accepting that as fact. I was having a conversation with someone the other day and they called me out on something I said that sounded rude. She said "We have to support each other and stop thinking that everyone is competition." Wow. Yes. We do. Truer words have never been spoken. I know this is heavy, but many of you that read this blog are guilty of the cattiness. I am guilty. We are all guilty. But it's not enough to acknowledge that it's a thing. It isn't enough to admit our faults. We have to be better. There is enough negativity in the world and the only way to counteract that is to be nicer to each other. I like to view it as my job to give people a solace from whatever negativity is going on in their lives and when I have to come to work and deal with pettiness and judgement it feels counter active. Be confident in yourself and stop viewing everyone as competition. We are all in this together. If you meet someone who sings better than you go to a practice room and get your shit together. Cheer them on. Support your fellow performer. No one ever got anywhere happy and emotionally stable by being mean to those along the way. Don't just be nice to those behind the table. Be kind to everyone. Be confident in your abilities and route for your fellow entertainers. This business will eat us up otherwise. Sorry for all that. I 'm just really really tired of mean and negative people being in my space. It's not hard to be kind. It's the easiest thing in the world.
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I have tried to write this 3 times now. The same thing will happen. I will start to type out a new post and then I will get distracted by life. I will go back, read it, decide that the things I am talking about are not relevant anymore and then delete the whole post. 3 times I have done this. And every week that I didn't post something new I felt like I was letting my hobby die. I really really like blogging. It isn't because I think tons of people read it. It's because it makes me happy. I have always been into journaling and I like social media. These two things make for a perfect blogging life! I like being able to go to a new place to blog every week. It's like a little date that I take myself on in every city and I really enjoy doing that. I was getting really frustrated with myself because in general it is really hard for me to get a hobby and hold onto it. Most of the time Netflix or Hulu will overcome any and all free time I have and before I know it all I have done for a week is binge watch Shondaland and do my show. That's yucky and I don't want to do that. It took me a minute of self frustration to realize that I hadn't been posting because I was living my life. Like, my real life. And that made it hard for me to find time to blog about it. Typing that out seems silly. I was doing things that I wanted to blog about but by the time I got time to sit down and write about it I was doing something else exciting. After my mom was in town Wes came out to tour for a while in Sacramento. He was with me for 2 1/2 weeks and it was wonderful. It took us a minute to remember how to be a couple. That's one of those weird things that you never really think about having to worry about when you are in a long distance relationship. You have to be able to maintain a relationship when you can touch and look at each other all the time and when you can't. You go from trying to maintain a conversation that lasts longer than 10 minutest to suddenly having to check with another person about what essential oils to put in the diffuser and it makes it a bit of a challenge. It's a welcome challenge...but a challenge none the less. The cast of Beautiful is currently in San Jose and we are about to go on a layoff week. This lay off week is particularly the bomb.com because it's thanksgiving week. This year instead of Wes and I choosing who's parents we spend thanksgiving with we are all doing it together. His parents, my parents, the whole shabang. I'm very excited. I like to say that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday but I think that I just like holidays if I am being honest. Halloween really gets me going as well as every other holiday that exists. Including but not limited to Labor Day. ( I just read that sentence and it actually is sounds so lame...but i'm keeping it.) After Thanksgiving I am spending a couple of days in NYC and hopefully seeing some lovely friends (if you are one of those lovely friends hit me up), a short stop in Tulsa, OK, and then we do a 2 month sit down in Chicago. I am so friggin' excited. I just want to sign up for all of the classes and do all the things. SPEAKING OF CLASSES If you are reading this and you know of any voice teachers in Chicago that you would recommend please let me know. Biddy needs to get back in that learning mode. It's been a minute. Wes is going to be in Chicago with me auditioning and taking voice over classes and stuff. I think it'll be really good for us and a wonderful way to end out a year that no doubt has been the most eventful of my life. I learned some cool things about myself in the past couple of weeks and I chopped off all my hair. I went to the doctor and was told I had pleurisy and went to an apple orchard. I didn't have pleurisy and I am better now. I drank apple wine and tried to go up in hot air balloon for Wes's birthday only to have it cancelled 3 times. I went to a GIANT sock store and ate an overpriced lunch in an old fire station. I got new headshots and saw the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time. I walked up about 500 stairs in the course of 2 days and sleep within 1 mile of Charles Manson. I drove a mustang and I spent $200.00 on dinner one night because it made me happy. I ate lunch and drank whiskey at a whiskey bar. Cheers to living life to the fullest. |
AuthorMiki. 26. NYC. Beautiful: The Carole King Musical National Tour. Archives
January 2018
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